Famous Last Words

Michael Chabon was right when he wrote, "Man makes plans....and God laughs.". When I lost my job, I spent weeks considering my options. I eventually decided to forego the offered support of executive coaches and resume revision. I was tired and didn't want to find a new role. The holidays were nearing, and I decided to simply focus on family and home, confident that I would figure it out after the new year.

As background, I had seen incredibly strong women struggle with their retirement transition. The challenge for some was a perceived loss of identity. Others simply knew that they would be incredibly bored without the pace of work life. I never once worried that I would be bored. I had, for years, imagined how I would fill my days with fun and new experiences. I would daydream about unlimited hours of reading for pleasure, new hobbies and sleeping late. I was sure that, with newfound free time, my health would be a priority and I would finally perfect my baking skills. And I wasn't wrong.... for about two months.

After just a couple of months, my brain craved a challenge. I began to sign up for classes (watercolor painting) and local groups (book club, MeetUp options). I decided to learn how to crochet (kit not yet opened). I purged my wardrobe, organized my personal files and watched episodes of Hoarders to motivate my garage clean up. I finally revisited a children's book manuscript that I had begun over a decade before. Essentially, I got busy trying to be busy.

So, what did I learn?

• I have learned that I can clean the kitchen to a sparkling finish several times a day but the resulting sense of accomplishment lasts only a moment (or until someone puts a dirty glass in the sink).

• I have learned how to make a trip to Trader Joe's an adventure, instead of a chore.

• I have learned that my dream of being an artist is perpetually in conflict with my lack of natural talent.

• I have learned that it is hard to perfect my baking talents while also trying to prioritize my health.

• I have learned that, when you are retired in the desert, no one cares if you jump in the pool fully clothed.

Ultimately, I have learned that there is a difference between busy and feeling fulfilled.